Why Am I Thinking of Christmas in July?

          Now that it’s July and I’m back to healthy eating and have returned to my fighting weight, I can confess that I was one of those millions of people who ate horribly from Thanksgiving to the New Year this past holiday season.

The Struggle

          Six days before Christmas I got an e-mail from Kaiser saying I had missed my usual three-month blood test confirming type-2 diabetes was still at bay and that my cholesterol continued to be well under 200. Of course I missed getting the tests because I had eaten everything in sight from November 22nd through the last drop of crab dip on New Year ’s Day. With the exception of some fish and some cheese, I had stuck to my more usual vegan path until that Thursday in November. Beginning the weekend after Thanksgiving, I ate chips and bread and veggies dripping in butter with sour cream on top of practically everything and it seemed like I siphoned a barrel of wine and champagne during that time period. Even when I managed a total day of only vegan food, it was stuff that was processed or fried, foods considered strictly vegan but with a ton of oil and calories. Did you know you can eat a plate of French fries and wash them down with a Coke and still have consumed a vegan meal? Crazy, huh? And I’m not recommending it!

          I e-mailed my doctor saying I wouldn’t be coming in for the tests until I’d gotten things under control. When I sent the e-mail, I was relieved that I immediately received an automated response saying she was on vacation for a couple of weeks. Phew! I could gobble up the last decadent unhealthy pieces of  homemade Almond Roca without fear of receiving an electronic castigation from her!

          But, as we all know, what goes around, comes around, and those last morsels of artery-clogging and very familiar tidbits of sin had a huge effect on my journey along the narrow but healthy path of consuming a plant-based diet. At 65 years of age, I shouldn’t be dealing with this level of shame. I felt like a kindergartener sneaking and cheating and maintaining a dual personality of eating virtuously versus pigging out. And I felt like crap physically.

Intervention

          Within two hours of the automated e-mail reply, I was surprised by a call from my doctor’s assistant. Dang! I couldn’t catch a break – well, except for the one that allowed me to mindlessly eat off my desired path for nearly two months! Anyway, she called to see if I needed help and did I want my doctor to call me as soon as she got back in town. "No," I practically screamed and, more calmly,  "Thank you but, no." I could get back to better eating on my own. As it turns out, I couldn’t. I continued to postpone getting my lab work done. And finally my doctor, bless her heart, called me on her own.

          To make a long story short, we talked. And we negotiated. In order to establish just where I was physically, I agreed to get the tests, but I didn’t have to see the results myself, and she promised not to chastise me, thus avoiding more kindergarten feelings. And that worked. I got back on the best eating program for me and I feel much better.

          I do want to say, for some people, it isn't always easy eating the best way in order to maintain health. Sure, staying on a plant-based program while avoiding animal products is pretty straightforward, but even some vegetables and fruits can cause problems for people too. If you're gluten intolerant you have to seek out non-wheat products, and inflammatory foods such as delicious tomatoes, potatoes and green peppers are not the best for people who experience arthritis, if you believe that sort of information. In any case, I empathize if you're trying to do better in the health department.

Is There a Moral?

           So, what is the moral of this story? Well, there really isn’t one, except to say I hope you can learn from me if you’re putting off doing something that’s good for you; it doesn’t have to be eating properly; it can be starting a postponed project or reaching out to a long-lost friend or relative. Because I kept putting things off, the overall experience was long and arduous. Perhaps you can learn from my less than stellar experience.

          Personally, by talking about this now instead of next Thanksgiving weekend, hopefully I can put into place a plan that will include what to do in case I start to veer off my chosen path.

          Finally, I hope you (and me) can see the value in reaching out for help, even if you’re a senior citizen who feels s/he should be able to do it all on your own.



You might also enjoy:
     Christmas:  Is It Really Just for Kids?

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Are You Being Served?

          Current events have enabled us to view the depths to which people are willing to go for the good of others. On the surface, you might think the firefighters in Arizona who perished doing their job and Nelson Mandela from South Africa wouldn’t have very much in common. In reality, their connection in an attitude of giving to others is huge. 

SEVA

          The spiritual practice this month at the Center for Spiritual Living, which is my metaphysical home, has been Seva, the ancient Sanskrit word for “selfless service.” Seva can be thought of as those acts of kindness we do for other people with no personal gain in mind. While on the surface, Seva includes our acts of volunteerism or doing things for the benefit of others, it actually goes deeper than just the acts themselves. Seva encompasses an attitude of selflessness, whether we’re in the act of providing for others or just going about our daily routine.

           In my opinion, both the firefighters in Arizona and Nelson Mandela in South Africa symbolize that attitude of selflessness which extends beyond their heroic acts of giving. Who better to embrace this selfless attitude than the 19 firemen who gave their lives so that the lives and property of others would be saved or who better than an impassioned anti-apartheid activist who sacrificed 27 years of his life in jail so the lives of others could be freer? Somehow I don’t think their selfless acts were isolated but rather included years of putting others ahead of themselves in all things – big and small. They exemplified the attitude of selflessness.

          Seva is an art form; it’s something to practice, not only for the benefit of others but also for the benefit of ourselves. What do we get out of being selfless? For myself, I like to think it’s an opportunity for me to get over myself. It’s a time for me to practice getting out of my own way in order to serve others. It’s my chance to really let go of being needy or pushy or impatient. I can place myself in the shoes of others without consideration of what my desires or expectations are.

Are You Being Served by Your Seva?

Senior Moments Aren't Just for Seniors!

          Read these funny examples of momentary memory lapses and see if you can relate to any of them:

          - While sorting out the garage, a man spent 10 minutes looking for something
                    to tie a bunch of tie-wraps together.

          - A woman making chicken soup simmered the carcass for hours with lots of
                    vegetables. Then, when it was all nice and tasty, she grabbed a colander
                    and poured all the liquid down the sink. She just stood there for about
                    5 minutes, staring at the bones trying to remember what the next step in
                    soup-making was.

          - Sam recently went to a gas station near his apartment with the intention of
                    buying gas. It was a rare occasion, as he actually had cash (he normally
                    paid for everything on debit). He walked up to the station and gave the
                    man $10. Sam then proceeded to walk back to his car, get inside, and
                    drive away. It was several minutes later, on the highway, that he
                    realized that he hadn't actually pumped any gas. Sam was too ashamed
                    to go back.

          - A harried mom went to the bank and tried to make a deposit. The teller in
                    training said she couldn’t find the account. The mom began to get
                    irritated. I always seem to get the new guy, she thought. The mom
                    asked them to search by her name. Still nothing. Then the mom realized
                    she was at the wrong bank.

          I don’t think any of these hilarious incidents happened to senior citizens. Yet, more often than not, they’re characterized as “senior moments.”

It Can Happen to Anyone

How to Celebrate the American Way

Growing Up Patriotic

          When I was 11, we lived in Hampton, Virginia. My father was a major in the Air Force and he was stationed at Langley Air Force Base. I came into the kitchen one afternoon to find my mother at the sink, her shoulders bobbing slightly from her sobs, her head hung over her work of peeling carrots, I think. In the background, from the old stained Bakelite radio on the counter, the strains of God Bless America were playing.

          I was stunned to crash this intimate and moving scene of my mother. I was speechless as she turned to reassure me. “I always get emotional when I hear this song,” she said. Being in a military family, around this anthem a lot, I wondered why I never knew this about her. My mother was pretty reserved, so to see this side of her was huge. I appreciated being a part of this touching moment. It pierced my heart with a lasting memory of her patriotism and love of country. To this day I get emotional when I hear that song or the Star Spangled Banner, whether it’s because of patriotism or because it reminds me of an infrequently occurring dear moment from my childhood.

Patriotism Defined

          Webster’s defines patriotism as “love or devotion to one’s country.” I certainly feel this toward my country. We’ve always been the most free and democratic nation in the world. We’ve been the greatest super power and the country that offers the most to people from anywhere else who might be seeking a safe haven. But that is changing. Trying times have altered that generosity; hopefully this shift won’t be permanent.

          I’m thrilled

Privacy? At What Cost?

          One thing for sure: I learn lots by writing this blog. A couple of weeks ago, several news sources reported, via a former defense contractor leak, Verizon was ordered to turn over all of its customers’ phone records to the National Security Agency. Well, I’m a Verizon customer and, on the face of it, I didn’t like this at all. So I started doing some digging. As is usually the case, this issue is complex, and I'm blaming that on the government. The implications for national security versus personal privacy are huge.

The impact of the 2001 Patriot Act

          The practice of monitoring phone records, among other security surveillance activities, has been around since the inception of the Patriot Act in 2001, an outcropping of the terrorists’ attack on the U.S. Many of the act's provisions were to sunset beginning December 31, 2005. All along there has been Republican vs. Democrat conflict about the act’s provisions but some of the security activities were set up in an additional bill that has allowed them to continue. Civil liberties issues have been hotly debated between the two parties – no surprise there! However, on May 26, 2011, President Obama signed the Patriot Sunsets Extension Act of 2011, a four-year extension of these three key provisions in the Patriot Act: roving wiretaps, searches of business records, and conducting surveillance of "lone wolves" — individuals suspected of terrorist-related activities not linked to terrorist groups. I guess viewing Verizon customers’ phone calls is part of that search of business records and is continuing now because … because why, I wonder.

Is this the best way?

          Yes, the NSA follows people of questionable origins with questionable activities talking to questionable people but, out of Verizon’s cabillion customers (90-million wireless, 12-million residential and 10-million commercial) that might represent like 20 people???? I’m sure this is too simplistic, but might it be better to identify the questionable people and then subpoena Verizon for their phone records??? That’s the part that has me bothered. Access to all MY information can be strong-armed when the vague ‘for the good of us all’ blanket is tossed out there.

           I don’t have definitive reasons or the Ph.D.-level information to form an outstandingly cogent argument either in favor of or against gathering this information in this manner. But I don’t like it either way. It rankles my sense of privacy and I think it perhaps always will.

The bigger issue.....????

         Perhaps a bigger issue is:  if we give our private information to Yahoo or Macys.com or Facebook, is it okay for the government to have that same info?

           What do you think? Does this ‘invasion’ piss you off or do you see the justification in the name of security and safety of the U.S. and all its citizens? Perhaps you view your privacy as contingent on what the government identifies is important. Perhaps you just thought it must have been a slow news day and you don’t really care one way or another. And finally, maybe no one in America thinks anything is or should be private anymore. I’d like to know….




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You might also enjoy:  Should you Forgive? If So, How?

A "divine stepping stone" for Paula Deen

          It can happen to anyone. One day you’re on top and the next day you’re scraping the bottom of the proverbial popularity barrel. By now, anyone who is alive and ever watches cooking on television is aware of what happened recently to jovial Paula Deen. Inappropriate racist remarks stripped her of her Food Network empire within 24 hours of the information becoming public. While I’m not an avid viewer of her programs, I was a little shocked that the butter queen could be toppled so swiftly. Now, if we’re talking Howard Stern, I’d applaud and say, fire his …. well, you know.

          And aren’t we just the judges sitting pretty in our black robes (the girls with lace collars, of course), passing judgment on a woman who, like most of us, does something stupid and pays severely for it. Yes, our mistakes aren’t usually in full view of millions of fans and viewers.

          The remarks that Ms. Deen made were in 2007. Say what? So, this wasn’t an overnight thing. She saw it coming, probably even was thinking of it when she spoke to Oprah last year and said something like, “I keep having a bad dream and when I wake up this [arms out to encompass her food empire] was all gone.”

          While I certainly don’t condone what she said back in 2007, I do feel a huge amount of compassion for her error. This week’s guest blog by Rev. Jane Beach talks about mistakes and how we can grow from them (Mistakes - Growing Tools).  I'll bet this incident will be a "...divine stepping stone," as Rev. Beach discusses. Ms. Deen will learn and learn and learn from all that happens around this. In the meantime, I’m feeling her anguish. I’ve done stupid things too and also felt that pain. I told myself at the time not to let one incident define who I was as a person. I hope she won’t either.


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The “84-year-old woman claims massive Powerball jackpot” Headline Made me Think About Money

           I’ve got to talk about money. That’s what I thought when I read this article in the US News Report (6/5/13). But I don’t want to. After all, who am I to comment about money and spin off this article about an unlikely windfall for one senior woman in Florida; and talk about an issue that causes so much discomfort for so many people?

Don't bring it up unless you can do it justice.

           One of the stumbling blocks I encounter is thinking that everything I write has to be perfect and that if I don’t express it correctly I will have squandered an opportunity to comment on something important. Has that ever happened to you? Have you delayed speaking up about something important because of nameless fears?

           Money is such a taboo topic. While I can be pretty open talking about it with my close friends, I remember infuriating my first husband who came from a strict German background and never would permit even a casual conversation of what something cost amongst friends.

Can we afford NOT to talk about it?

           Money has a huge impact on senior citizens and on people considering retirement. What is the right formula in order for you to have sufficient funds to retire? Will there be enough to have an enjoyable life? Do we keep this topic to ourselves or do we share our ideas and information with others in order to make better decisions?

           I’m thrilled for Gloria MacKenzie, the elderly woman in Florida who, before taxes, has won the nearly $371-million. She waited two weeks to come forth with her winning ticket and didn’t share her exciting news with any of her neighbors, preferring instead to remain as far out of the limelight as possible. She did say, “I’m grateful for this blessing of winning.” Perhaps another reason this headline caught my eye was because I had just bought my Fantasy 5 ticket. I’m sure it’s a winner!

Me?

           My experience is its okay to talk about money if it’s to complain that there isn’t enough. It seems like people with money (how ever much that is) feel as though they are supposed to be coy and evasive and pretend like they’re just like all those other people who struggle from day to day to make their lives work with limited resources. But that’s just what I’ve experienced.

What about you?

          Are you comfortable talking about money? If you are okay discussing it, perhaps you will consider finishing this blog post for me….





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Check out:  How to be Wealthy

Senior Moments of Clarity and Wisdom

          Being smarter than when I was younger is one of the main things I like about getting older. All those life experiences, both positive and negative, have helped to create a mantle of wisdom and clarity. Sure, these qualities are not only associated with seniors, but younger people, in general, have fewer real life events from which to learn. I do admit there's no one who can be more compassionate and supportive than a spouse or a parent, whether they're a senior or not.

It's not all about me?????

          When I was in my 20’s and 30’s (yeah, probably most of my 40’s and 50's too!) it was all about me. It wasn’t until I was older that I began to see the impact of my words and actions on others. That’s when the clarity and wisdom started to manifest itself in my life.

 

          I’m neither sage nor a guru, but I have more answers now, the kind of answers that speak the truth rather than try to show how smart I think I am. When I'm sharing my opinion or volunteering some uncalled for information, I try to visualize molasses oozing slowly out of a jar. I try to drag it out and let the content and manner in which I respond form more fully in my brain before spewing forth. Ideally, I question whether my opinion is called for at all!

          It’s not like I’m Oprah with a staff of editors and censors standing behind me monitoring what I say and how I speak. I’m thinking on the fly. It’s easy for me to contest myself with how quickly I can come up with a snazzy answer before anyone else. Very rarely, however, does clarity and wisdom show up in these situations. These days, especially now that I’m retired, it’s less important that I be first with the ‘correct’ answer or comment. Thankfully, there are no work situations for me that require a fast solution to one problem or another. But we do live in a sound bite world, so it’s easy to feel responding quickly is better than responding with forethought.

Change: Can You Teach an Old Dog New Tricks?

          As a Californian, I view change the same as being in one of our frequent earthquakes where the ground underneath me shifts unpredictably. I’ve never been a big fan of change. It used to irritate me that, just when things were exactly where I wanted them, bam! Everything would change!

When it comes hard and unexpectedly...

          I also resented change when it came so hard and unexpectedly in my senior years. I laughably thought after I retired, got my house just the way I wanted it, with the best friends around me that I had cultivated over the years plus my resources, financial, in particular, were lined up, it would all stay that way. Well, remember 2008? I was newly retired after working for 40 years. Millions of people, me included, could do little but try to keep our heads above water as we watched our savings dwindle, homes and jobs were lost along with a general reduction in the quality of our lives. I finally had to concede that change happens and that it’s going to happen for the rest of our lives.

          There is change that happens to us through no action on our part and there is change that we consciously choose. When I chose to move out from my spouse, I knew things would change, and I was willing to be open to that change because I wanted it to help strengthen my relationship with him, which it did. It’s the change I didn’t choose that, over time, caught me off guard and has been the most difficult to embrace.

I've learned to buckle up and meditate

          With a lot of reflection and work over the years, however, I’ve learned to accept change and see it more and more as an opportunity to learn and grow. I don’t love it, but at least I know that something good will generally accompany any discomfort that it entails. I’ve learned to buckle up and meditate my way to the next thing change brings forth.

          As the mature adult I've grown to be (don't laugh!), I now treat change like a boo boo, and you can too. Here’s my prescription for dealing with change:

          1)  Be shocked at the change, whatever it is.

Being Awake - guest blog by Randall Friesen

Randall Friesen

          Great spiritual leaders share a common calling: to wake up their students. Using words such as "enlightenment," "salvation," or "self-realization," teachers through the ages have urged us to wake up to an awareness of the Divine. This awareness, they tell us, is all we need in order to begin a new life, one that will ultimately lead to the fulfillment of our highest potential.

          It's a difficult concept to get, though. Ironic even, because for the most part we don't realize that we are asleep! It's like that moment of epiphany, when you read something or hear something spoken, and you see for the first time something that was there all along. You wonder how you could have missed it. How could you have had the answer right in front of you and not seen it? Those are the moments in which you understand the message of "Wake up!" You see in living color how you were asleep and weren't even aware of it.

          Throughout my career in spiritual philosophy, I've continually asked the question, "How do I wake up?" How do I keep aware of Truth at all times, in all my life's circumstances? I realize that I fall asleep so easily, and so frequently. So I am always searching for techniques to keep my mind alert and aware of the presence of God. It takes work. I found that, for me, I must continually expose myself to new ways of thinking. I scour bookstores for fresh perspectives on spiritual issues. I attend lectures and churches that present a variety of religious beliefs. I speak with people who show me new ways to see ancient truths.

          My new favorite "alarm clock" is my Kindle. I have loaded it up with books that inspire me and remind me who I am, where I fit in the universe, and how to grow to even greater heights. My Kindle fits in my back pocket, and I take it with me whenever I go out into the world. Then, when I suddenly find myself in a weird situation, or facing a challenge, or simply waiting for the subway, I can pull it out and, wham, I wake up!

          Truth permeates everything. It is all around each of us at all times, but is often so difficult to see. But with great minds and ideas at the tip of my fingertips, I have fewer excuses for not being awake.


Find out more about Randall and his work here:
     RandallScottFriesen