Does 'We The People' Speak for You?

              
          Some people feel the American system of government is broken because of our obsession with Constitutional obedience. I know personally I’ve felt the frustration with recent events such as the fiscal crises and gun control controversies that get bogged down because of feeling shackled to unflinching doctrines that were created in a bygone era.

Some of Our Greatest Leaders Ignore the Constitution

          Louis Michael Seidman, in a recent editorial on CBS Sunday Morning and in an article in the New York Times, points out that some of our greatest leaders have been ignoring the Constitution since its inception. John Adams supported the Alien and Sedition Acts, which violated the First Amendment’s guarantee of freedom of speech. Even FDR in his Constitution Day speech in 1937 spoke of devotion to the document, but as a statement of aspirations rather than obligations.

          I don’t think we should ignore the whole document. As Seidman states, “This is not to say that we should disobey all constitutional commands. Freedom of speech and religion, equal protection of the laws and protections against governmental deprivation of life, liberty or property are important, whether or not they are in the Constitution.” But here is the most important part of what he says, “We should continue to follow those requirements out of respect, not obligation.”

          In the Fall 2010 issue of the Chicago Law School Alumni magazine, David A. Strauss talks about a ‘living’ Constitution, a document that “…evolves, changes over time, and adapts to new circumstances, without being formally amended.” The amendment process is in itself a cumbersome exercise that might have difficulty keeping up with changes over the years. Opponents to the concept of a living Constitution feel this document should be the rock solid foundation of our most fundamental principles and, therefore, should not change and evolve over time.

Shouldn't We Create guidelines for Tweaking the Constitution?

          As our nation has changed so much over the last 2+ bicentennials and will certainly change significantly in the coming ones, shouldn’t we create a document, a standard set of guidelines, that allows for tweaking without a process that pits party against party and sucks the life out of any productive governmental activities? Without changing, the Constitution, I fear, runs the risk of being seen as a relic…a document that over time gets ignored more and more. The issue of who and when the Constitution changes would require a major discourse after all options are identified.

          I certainly didn’t intend to present a complete analysis on the longevity of our current Constitution but instead to make us think about change and the possibility of doing things differently and, hopefully, better.

This is Our Country! 

          Seidman sums up in his editorial, “This is our country. We live in it, and we have a right to the kind of country we want. We would not allow the French or the United Nations to rule us, and neither should we allow people who died over two centuries ago and knew nothing of our country as it exists today. If we are to take back our own country, we have to start making decisions for ourselves and stop deferring to an ancient and outdated document.”

          It’s an interesting discussion and I wonder, as “We The People….,” what will happen in the future.

          [Note: As this blog post is appearing, PBS has just begun airing Constitution USA with Peter Sagal. In this series, he asks the questions about the relevancy of the Constitution with  residents across America. He probably got the idea from me! The first episode this week dealt with Federal power being the master over state power. Interestingly, we are seeing this exact conflict relative to legalizing marijuana. If you are interested, check your local listings for times and channels.]

What Causes Senior Moments?

          It’s normal as we age to experience some memory loss. This is due to decreases in neurotransmitters or the chemicals that communicate information throughout our brain and body. Generally these kinds of changes don’t affect daily functioning or the ability to live independently. In people who experience Alzheimer’s disease, these decreases are significant and injurious to brain function. For the purpose of this discussion we are NOT talking about the latter kind of devastating losses.

          People of all ages experience momentary memory loss and many, even those who are not senior citizens, refer to these lapses laughingly as ‘senior moments’ or "brain farts" or "spacing out' or having a "blond moment." Many jokes are made and sometimes the humor exists to mask our terror when we head into the next room and get there only to forget what we were going to do. Or how about paying for a purchase and walking out of the store without it. Been there, done that!

          The brain actually uses forgetfulness as a way to avoid confusion and to inhibit cognitive overload. It is selective and remembers more important information and sets aside similar and less-used information. Forgetfulness, if viewed from this perspective, is therefore beneficial, and a sign of proper brain functioning. But why do we experience these kinds of lapses at all?

          There are lots of reasons for experiencing a blank in memory. The cause of senior moments can be found in fatigue, stress, medication interference, and extensive multi-tasking. Sometimes women experience more lapses when they are pregnant. It is reported that anemia and thyroid disease can also affect temporary memory loss.

          But I’m not stressed or tired or pregnant. What’s MY excuse? As long as the lapse is temporary and not more debilitating as mentioned at the beginning of this piece, my answer to this question is “Lighten up.” One little episode of forgetfulness and we’re ready to schedule an MRI to check our brain function. My tendency is to laugh and make a joke when I’m with others but, in actuality, the less fuss I make about it, the faster it is I remember what I was going to do or say.

          There are a few tips to reduce the incidence of senior moments if they’re bothering you:
                         - Try to do just one thing at a time.
                         - Be sure to get enough sleep and maintain a healthy diet.
                         - If you’re stressed, develop some management techniques (check out
                                 online resources).
                         - Reduce your need to multi-task, if possible.
                         - Quit relying on just your memory and use some of those excellent
                                 electronics that keep track of dates and act as personal digital
                                 assistants.
                         - Replay memories in your mind to reinforce them.
                         - When trying to commit something to memory take it in with all your
                                 senses. Notice how things smell and feel as well as how they look.

          I think there are life lessons to be learned in this discussion of senior moments. I say let’s have ‘em! Let’s experience as many of them as we need in order to get the message to slow down and smell the flowers. Let’s not be embarrassed when we do something silly like trying to remember where we parked the car at the mall.  Let’s create a place where we have the luxury to do one thing at a time. For those of us who are retired, we’re done being show offs, multi-tasking our little hearts out and showing we can manage a myriad of tasks simultaneously. There’s a bigger bonus awaiting us when we take more time and that bonus is joy, the kind of joy that appears when we look out into world and see, really see, something different than before.
         
          Learn to see memory lapses as a gift; a pause to take a break and enjoy what’s happening around your; a reminder to be present in the moment.



You might also enjoy:
          Ten Things to Make Your Senior Moments Happier
          Must We Always Act Our Age?

Should You Forgive? If So, How?

          Are you ready to forgive Lance Armstrong for doping or Charlie Sheen for ranting or the Boston marathon bombers? Perhaps you can forgive Lance but not the bombers. Perhaps it’s not that we can’t forgive as much as we don’t want to forgive.


From m_bui via Flickr

          In a nationwide Gallup poll, 94% of Americans surveyed said they aspire to forgiveness, but only 48% said they usually tried to forgive. This represents a huge disconnect between what we say we want to do and what we actually do. Why is this? Do we see it as a weakness to be forgiving?

          All month long I’ve been focused on the issue of forgiveness. It’s been the spiritual practice of the month at the Center of Spiritual Living. This focus has given me the opportunity to examine more closely my beliefs about forgiveness and see what’s working and not working for me. One of the first things I discovered about myself is that I forgave some but not others.

          This month-long forgiveness practice has taught me, however, that true forgiveness has nothing to do with others and everything to do with myself. While it benefits both giver and receiver, it is a colossal gift we give ourselves. The only true benefit I can get from forgiving is if I use it across the board, without the judgment call of who deserves it. Why is that?

          It’s because, as a metaphysician, I know what I give will be returned to me. If I give out a loving feeling or thought of forgiveness to the universe, that is what will be returned to me. It doesn’t matter if it is deserved by another, returned by them or if they are even aware of my forgiveness. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying we should forgive someone and then be close to them and set ourselves up for possible pain again. But forgiveness is really about the letting go part, letting go of the anger, pain, self-pity, angst, fear, etc. And letting go frees us, heals us, keeps us safe, etc. (see How to Let Go of Attachments).

          There have been studies that correlate the ability to forgive with less stress and better health, both of which have compelling implications for us seniors. As we age, we could be accelerating the process by harboring the anger and resentment that goes along with the inability to forgive. Additional research has shown that, including stress and health issues, the ability to forgive impacts happiness and the overall sense of well being.

          Once we see the value of forgiveness in its truest sense, how do we go about changing the way we think and act relative to it?  How do we break the habit of involving judgments when choosing to forgive or not? Well, it starts with forgiving yourself.

          What do you need to forgive yourself for? Journaling works well for finding answers to this question, and affirmations such as “I forgive myself for judging others” is an example of what you might say to yourself when you see yourself headed back into old habits.

          There are a couple of pieces of good news about changing your forgiveness paradigm. First, you don’t have to forget in order to forgive and, secondly, forgiveness can be taught with positive results. Because I love the spreadsheet approach, in the past, I have made a little list of who, what, and what I was going to do about it in order to change:

                                - Who wasn’t I forgiving
                                - A SHORT description of why I wasn’t forgiving them
                                - What has not forgiving cost me in each case
                                - What I was going to do to change my outlook:
                                              - prayer
                                              - meditation
                                              - affirmations
                                              - counseling
                                - Results

          Others have used writing letters, letters that never get sent, to work through the forgiving process, and, as mentioned previously, many prefer journaling to examine the issues and make positive changes over time. Speaking of time, making changes around forgiveness (or any major behavior modification) takes time, so don't be hard on yourself if you find the process takes longer than you anticipated. Remember that you’re forgiving, not for ‘them’ but for yourself.

          One of the main methods I use to change my way of thinking regarding forgiveness - or anything – is to see the other person as an extension of myself. It may sound corny but I can look down at my hand and see it attached to me, the same way the person I’m not forgiving could be. Would I be hateful and cruel to my hand? Would I cut it off because it made me mad or was disrespectful? Of course not. We are all one within this universe so to do harm to another would just do harm to me.
    
          Another visualization I use is to put the other person in my heart. I close my eyes and sit quietly. I watch my heart open and make room for a smaller version of that person. So, when feelings of anger arise, I gently place them in my heart where they are surrounded by my love, good feelings and forgiveness. I often have to do this exercise several times in order to shift my thinking.

          These are powerful visualizations that have worked for me. I’ll bet there’s a version of one of these that would work for you. I think you’ll agree it’s worth it to change your mind about forgiveness if you need to. In my opinion, it’s not a weakness to forgive but a fortifying action of acceptance and love. While I mourn the loss of lives and injury in Boston recently, this situation gives us an excellent opportunity for all of us to practice unconditional forgiveness.

          Unconditional Forgiveness by Mary Hayes Grieco is the book used by our Center in our month-long practice. I highly recommend it as a powerful tool to work through the process of forgiveness, especially for those stubborn situations where letting go of anger and hurt aren't budging.

          Final thought:  As senior citizens, we are the role models for our families and for our community. We are the ones looked to for good behavior, open thinking, acceptance and non-judgmental mentality. Forgiving is a cornerstone of this way of being in the world and a valuable asset that will bring you and others comfort and joy.



Finish each day and be done with it.

You have done what you could.

 

Some blunders and absurdities have crept in;

forget them as soon as you can.

 

Tomorrow is a new day.

You shall begin it serenely and with too high a spirit

to be encumbered with your old nonsense.

 

--Ralph Waldo Emerson

 

 

 

 

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