My Center for Spiritual Living

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Contact me at antoniasseniormoments@hotmail.com

How Doing Nothing Can Help You Do Everything

          Once a month I have what I call a 'No Tech’ Day. During this 24-hour period, I don’t turn on my computer or my cell phone. I don’t drive my car or watch TV, Netflix or videos and I don't listen to music. I don’t text, Tweet or use my landline to reach out. I don’t microwave or do laundry. I do turn on the heater if necessary and will use electricity for lights in the evening. It’s a cathodic fasting of sorts, and it juices me up to do more and be more productive in the days that follow this break in my routine.

          What do I do if I’m not doing all that? I sit in silence, I walk, I read, I feel the sun on my body as I contemplate my garden and I meditate. I visit with friends if something is pre-arranged. I play with my cat; Kali loves these days when it seems I never stop tossing the ball or pulling the string throughout the house for her entertainment. I eat salads, and I miss having my morning coffee. But I remind myself that it’s only for 24 hours.

           Like a lot of people, I can get overwhelmed with the fast-paced world of technology that, for the most part, enhances our lives. We communicate, problem solve, create new ideas and develop systems at breakneck speed. We have trained ourselves to think on our feet, to multi-task and to make decisions on the fly instead of mulling over our reactions and responses in contemplative repose.

          At the Center for Spiritual Living, my metaphysical abode, our practice for this and next month is silence and retreat. We’ve been talking about ways to question if you’d benefit from spending time in silence and some ideas for ways to create that for yourself. If it's been forever since you've taken a whole day to be alone or if you can't go for an hour without checking e-mail, Facebook, etc., you might be prime for a 'No Tech' Day. For me, I participate daily in a snippet of silence when I meditate. On a No Tech Day, I meditate several times: upon waking and later in the day, sometimes leading to a delicious nap.
 

          One of the main rewards I get out of taking a break from a fast-paced life is being reminded how the simplicity of a quiet day enhances my appreciation of all that surrounds me without fanfare. I remember what silence sounds like, I become aware of what outside noises I live with daily, and I stop to smell the flowers both in reality and metaphorically speaking. While I’m embarrassed to say sometimes it takes one of these retreat days to get me back in touch with the simple things in life, I’d rather own up to it and gain the benefits instead of just plugging along without nurturing my soul.

          It’s pretty simple but it can be challenging if you’ve never lived without electronics for a day. You can do it. You can improve the more you do it. Don’t get discouraged. Try it for an hour at a time at first. I promise you it’ll be worth it.



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     Being Awake - Guest Blog by Randall Friesen
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leave a message at:  antoniasseniormoments@hotmail.com

How Blogging Increased My Spirituality

Happy Anniversary         
          It was one year ago tomorrow when I posted my first piece for Antonia’s Senior Moments. The subject I spoke about in that first blog was gratitude. As I reflect on the past year, I feel a great sense of gratitude all this writing and sharing has brought into my life.  No amount of celebrating is complete without taking a moment to share what I’ve gotten out of this experience and without thanking two people who have supported and taught me more than I ever imagined I could learn at this point in my life.

Why?

          One of the main reasons I started writing here was to increase my spirituality. At the Center for Spiritual Living, my metaphysical home, we have spent this year practicing all aspects of our spiritual place in the Universe. I thought there’d be no better way to increase my spirituality than by writing about all these aspects including, as I said, gratitude, and meditating, giving/receiving, friendships, non-material wealth, attachments, affirmations, forgiveness and selfless service. All of these subjects, as well as some of the zany and highly personal other topics I discussed this past year, were written from my perspective, the senior citizen perspective. I’ve been told over and over, however, that many, many of these discussions were of interest to people of all ages, not just seniors.  That thrills me!

          Has my goal of increased spirituality been attained? Indeed it has and will only continue to expand in the future. Growth of any kind, as we all know, is a continuum; we never get to the end – hopefully. I look forward to increasing my spiritual sense of self – stumbles and all – for many years to come. And I so appreciate you accompanying me in this journey.

Big Help

          Along the way, I’ve been joined by a few knowledgeable guest bloggers who kindly agreed to share their perspective and experience in the world. Thank you Randall Friesen, Jane Beach, Edward Viljoen, Chris Michaels and Gretchen Rubin. Your input here has added a dimension and enrichment that could not have existed without your presence.

Edward Viljoen

          I  wish to give a standing O to my teacher, blog administrator, spiritual leader, mentor and friend,  Rev. Edward Viljoen. When I hesitated, you were there, encouraging and helping me realize my dream. Most of the time the technical aspects of this project made my head spin but  I'd always walk away from our meetings with a greater sense of just how simple it is to know my truth and to speak it. Thank you, Edward.


Rod Sverko

          Also, I wish to thank my dear friend, Rod Sverko, who has consistently been my biggest champion.  You let me share early drafts of nearly all posts, you “Liked” and shared on Facebook and Google+’d everything ALL the time, you kept me company at public events, you were distracted by me as I flailed around in darkened theaters to take notes for my movie reviews and you always talked up "Antonia’s Senior Moments" to everyone you knew and met.  Thank you for your love and support.

         And finally, thank you, the reader, for finding my work, whether you were with me from the beginning or only recently stumbled upon this little corner of the blogging world. You unfailingly gave me your feedback and told me when I made you laugh and when I made you cry. If I can enhance the life of only one person through this passion of mine, I will be overjoyed.

         A toast to this past year and to the  future!

My job is to find a place of truth and tell that truth ~
                                                                Jay Z

antoniasseniormoments@hotmail.com
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Are You Being Served?

          Current events have enabled us to view the depths to which people are willing to go for the good of others. On the surface, you might think the firefighters in Arizona who perished doing their job and Nelson Mandela from South Africa wouldn’t have very much in common. In reality, their connection in an attitude of giving to others is huge. 

SEVA

          The spiritual practice this month at the Center for Spiritual Living, which is my metaphysical home, has been Seva, the ancient Sanskrit word for “selfless service.” Seva can be thought of as those acts of kindness we do for other people with no personal gain in mind. While on the surface, Seva includes our acts of volunteerism or doing things for the benefit of others, it actually goes deeper than just the acts themselves. Seva encompasses an attitude of selflessness, whether we’re in the act of providing for others or just going about our daily routine.

           In my opinion, both the firefighters in Arizona and Nelson Mandela in South Africa symbolize that attitude of selflessness which extends beyond their heroic acts of giving. Who better to embrace this selfless attitude than the 19 firemen who gave their lives so that the lives and property of others would be saved or who better than an impassioned anti-apartheid activist who sacrificed 27 years of his life in jail so the lives of others could be freer? Somehow I don’t think their selfless acts were isolated but rather included years of putting others ahead of themselves in all things – big and small. They exemplified the attitude of selflessness.

          Seva is an art form; it’s something to practice, not only for the benefit of others but also for the benefit of ourselves. What do we get out of being selfless? For myself, I like to think it’s an opportunity for me to get over myself. It’s a time for me to practice getting out of my own way in order to serve others. It’s my chance to really let go of being needy or pushy or impatient. I can place myself in the shoes of others without consideration of what my desires or expectations are.

Are You Being Served by Your Seva?

Should You Forgive? If So, How?

          Are you ready to forgive Lance Armstrong for doping or Charlie Sheen for ranting or the Boston marathon bombers? Perhaps you can forgive Lance but not the bombers. Perhaps it’s not that we can’t forgive as much as we don’t want to forgive.


From m_bui via Flickr

          In a nationwide Gallup poll, 94% of Americans surveyed said they aspire to forgiveness, but only 48% said they usually tried to forgive. This represents a huge disconnect between what we say we want to do and what we actually do. Why is this? Do we see it as a weakness to be forgiving?

          All month long I’ve been focused on the issue of forgiveness. It’s been the spiritual practice of the month at the Center of Spiritual Living. This focus has given me the opportunity to examine more closely my beliefs about forgiveness and see what’s working and not working for me. One of the first things I discovered about myself is that I forgave some but not others.

          This month-long forgiveness practice has taught me, however, that true forgiveness has nothing to do with others and everything to do with myself. While it benefits both giver and receiver, it is a colossal gift we give ourselves. The only true benefit I can get from forgiving is if I use it across the board, without the judgment call of who deserves it. Why is that?

Must We Always Act Our Age?

          I look to the future because that's where I'm going to spend the rest of my life. George Burns
         


          Age is a state of mind. If that is true, must we always act our age? I don't think so!

          “What? Didn’t she just go over this age thing a couple of weeks ago?”

          Yes, I was thrilled to celebrate my 65^th birthday earlier this month. I spoke of sharing the birth date with Martin Luther King and shifting my ‘Use by…’ date to 81 years old. But I didn’t talk about how our attitudes about getting older age us. I didn’t talk about those little habits of things we say and do that scoot us into walkers much faster than necessary.

          The Handbook of Religion and Health by Koenig, et al, indicates that people who have a regular religious attendance or practice live, on average, 7 years longer than those who don’t. There are things we can do to make the best use of those extra years.

          I was pleased last fall to attend a workshop at the Center for Spiritual Living . The speaker was Rev. Chris Michaels from the Kansas City Center for Spiritual Living.  Our two Centers are closely aligned and  Rev. Chris visits us often. He sometimes travels with us to foreign countries when our Center organizes spiritual excursions to places like Bali. I have spent some time with him on one of these trips and he is a cool guy. He tells it like he sees it and people listen because he’s right on. He is not even close to being a senior citizen but he isn’t a young pup either.

          A friend and I attended his workshop entitled “Aging as a Spiritual Practice” and found Chris’ perceptions and his take on how our ways of thinking can age us faster than the clock. Chris points out that our spirits are the true essence of who we are, not our bodies. Spirit is ageless, timeless and deathless. Yet we continually remind ourselves and others that we are becoming more limited physically and/or mentally as time goes on. How many times have you said, as I have, “Oh, I forgot that because I’m having a senior moment,” or “I used to be able to do that longer…or faster…or better….”? How often do we buy into a youthful society’s message that says if you’re over 30 you’re not worth very much? We’re the first people to limit ourselves by believing and integrating these attitudes as we get older.

          Yes, our bodies are flesh that does deteriorate over time, but there’s nothing more limiting than

On Your Mark, Get Set, Go!

 

          It’s officially THE shopping season. I probably don’t need to tell YOU that. Heck, half of my friends have already finished their shopping for the holidays.

          I’ve always admired people who can shop for the holidays all year long. This is the bunch that is super organized with a well thought out list of recipients and gift ideas. They keep their list handy and use any outing, be it a trip to the grocery story or a vacation to Italy, as an opportunity to mark another item off their list. I’ve been with friends who’ve gasped, “Oh, goody, Safeway has 50 year old Scotch on sale. Now I can get that bottle I want to give to Uncle Luke!”

          I’m not a great shopper. I don’t enjoy the experience that much. I never even enjoyed it when I was younger and could afford and fit into tiny leather skirts or suede coats with tastefully appointed fake fur collars. At one point, I did leasing for a local shopping center and my entire days were spent in stores and around merchandise. You might think I’d be more inclined to shop if I was getting paid for my time while doing it, but I didn’t.

          Having shown my shopping skills are minimal, it might surprise you to learn that I’m a good internet shopper. I’ll match the purchasing power of my fingers with the best of ‘em! At the same time, I’m in good company when I say I’ve had some bad experiences from buying things from online stores, but these have been mainly apparel items. As long as it’s not clothes or shoes, I think buying from the internet is the only way to go.

          They predict paying sales tax for online merchandise will soon be upon us. Until then, I say rev up those search engine skills, research the best deal identifier through-sites and begin to reward those merchandisers who pay for shipping with little or no minimum purchases. There are lots out there. And there’s always e-bay and Craigslist; fun places to shop even if you have to modify some of the specifications you’re requiring.

          Even though I’m not an enthusiastic consumer of clothing, I have enjoyed purchasing household items:  dishes, linens, knick knacks, kitchen gadgets, plants, etc. In recent years, however, I’ve had a somewhat depressing awakening that many of you may have also experienced.

          Since retiring, I’ve noticed there’s nothing I need to buy. OMG, this has been the most discouraging aspect of getting older that no one told me to expect. Obviously, I don’t need work clothes or comfortable shoes for traipsing through my day. I don’t need cute containers to carry lunch items to the office, nor do I need any electronic items for keeping a complicated schedule or task list. Man, it just hasn’t been fun to realize I don’t need yet another set of silverware or placemats, or panties, or umbrellas.

          I was in hog heaven a couple of years ago when I got my cat Kali from the Humane Society, not only for the obvious pet-loving reasons but also because it meant I could go out and buy, buy, and buy:  food bowls, pet beds, mats, snacks, grooming tools and toys, lots and lots of toys. I even had to buy another basket just to hold all the snacks, tools and toys. It was fun, but short-lived.

          These days one of my favorite stores is the bookstore at the Center for Spiritual Living. This is the home of my spiritual community, which was founded by Ernest Holmes. It has lots of books – soothing books, instruction books, history books and books to give as gifts. It also has cultural items from other countries, jewelry and crafts made by talented Center members, and a ton of Gods and Goddesses, Buddha’s, essential oils, and tapes for mediation or relaxation. If I need a gift for a friend, I’m most likely to start at this store.

          I think the future of my shopping will be mostly for others, particularly kids and grand-kids. I’ll never have to worry about running out of things to buy for others. Also, doesn’t giving money count for something still? I think it can be pretty impersonal, but do you really want ME to guess what an 11-year-old boy might truly want? Here’s some money; buy exactly what you’d like and know that I give it to you with heartfelt love and a true desire to celebrate your birthday, graduation, Christmas, etc.

          Oh, and if you’re buying for me, well, like I said, I don’t need anything, so better make it experiential. Let’s have a dinner together, or go to a play, or a casino!