During my formative years, how I looked represented the whole of who I was. I was never satisfied or okay with the way I looked. I never regarded appearance as just ONE part of who I was; it completely defined me.
Marilyn’s Attitude
What makes people feel attractive or unattractive? What makes us feel like keeping our head down or standing in the back of the room? For every one of us who feels insecure in our appearance, there are equal numbers of people like my friend, Marilyn. Marilyn is 5’10” and weighs 230. She is 60 years old and newly single. Marilyn has, for her entire life, had the attention of men and a large group of loving women friends. Now that she is single again, she is enjoying the company of smart, fun loving men who appreciate the way she is in the world. What is the difference between her and me, for instance, when newly widowed nearly three years ago, I was happy to ‘close up shop,’ feeling less than in the looks department?
The difference is in her beliefs. Marilyn believes in her attractiveness and that she has a variety of qualities to offer others. I don’t know if Marilyn sees a gorgeous woman when she looks in the mirror or, more likely, whether she has internalized the belief that attractiveness is not just physical appearance. It doesn’t really matter because she is comfortable with herself and that shows through in a relationship.
Me … and You?
