Not 25 Anymore - Guest blog by Rev. Ruth Barnhart

Ruth Barnhart

          “Well, you’re not 25.” This is what my young orthopedic doctor said as he glanced at my chart while we were discussing whether or not I should have surgery on my broken wrist. And this means what? Too old to matter whether my wrist fully heals, too old to handle the stress, too old for my bones to heal themselves?

          At 25, I was mountain climbing, exploring wild caves, running, biking swimming. Since then, my runs have slowed to brisk walks and hikes, my mountains have lowered from 14,000 feet to 2,000 feet, and the spring in my step now talks back to me with a noticeable hitch in my back and hip. Where I used to jump out of bed, I now carefully stand, stretch, wriggle to get myself in a grounded alignment. Where I used to effortlessly lift all sorts of heavy objects, from backpacks to couches, I now defer to younger, stronger bodies.

          How do I deal with this experience called the aging process? I know those who nip and tuck, who apply additional make-up, who fashion themselves after the younger generation and refuse to slow down. I also know others who have given up, who cease to care for their bodies, who regularly complain about aches and pains and not being able to do what they did when they were 25. I have to admit, I have sometimes gone there myself.

          I have decided that the best way to deal with not being 25 is to approach it as a spiritual practice. What does that mean? First it means I just notice my experience, my feelings and, most of all, how I am using my body. I catch myself when I start to think, speak or act negatively to myself. And just as in my meditation practice, I come back to my breath, to the present moment and to opening to the fullness of life. I make room for discomfort, for changes in my body and abilities, gray hair and wrinkles, a slower walk and a relinquishing of certain capabilities. In other words, I accept where and how I am. I avoid projecting into the future and practice just being with today. I’m not 25 anymore.

          One really positive aspect of invoking my spiritual practice with aging is I’ve lightened up on myself. I eat healthy but I am no longer so strict or harsh with myself when I stray. I let myself live life more, including taking naps when I am tired. I push myself when it is required. I still like adventure, but I no longer have to be the first in the 33 degree lake. It’s okay to just go slip into the warm pool.

          In one of her Facebook postings, Antonia recently asked the question, “On a scale of 1-10, how healthy are you?”  I have stepped off all scales. I am fully alive as I am. My aging body proclaims one thing, ‘I Am Still Here.” And I’m not 25 anymore.


Click here to find info on Rev. Ruth Barnhart. You can reach her at revruth@sonic.net.
You can reach Antonia at antoniasseniormoments@hotmail.com

Must We Always Act Our Age?

          I look to the future because that's where I'm going to spend the rest of my life. George Burns
         


          Age is a state of mind. If that is true, must we always act our age? I don't think so!

          “What? Didn’t she just go over this age thing a couple of weeks ago?”

          Yes, I was thrilled to celebrate my 65^th birthday earlier this month. I spoke of sharing the birth date with Martin Luther King and shifting my ‘Use by…’ date to 81 years old. But I didn’t talk about how our attitudes about getting older age us. I didn’t talk about those little habits of things we say and do that scoot us into walkers much faster than necessary.

          The Handbook of Religion and Health by Koenig, et al, indicates that people who have a regular religious attendance or practice live, on average, 7 years longer than those who don’t. There are things we can do to make the best use of those extra years.

          I was pleased last fall to attend a workshop at the Center for Spiritual Living . The speaker was Rev. Chris Michaels from the Kansas City Center for Spiritual Living.  Our two Centers are closely aligned and  Rev. Chris visits us often. He sometimes travels with us to foreign countries when our Center organizes spiritual excursions to places like Bali. I have spent some time with him on one of these trips and he is a cool guy. He tells it like he sees it and people listen because he’s right on. He is not even close to being a senior citizen but he isn’t a young pup either.

          A friend and I attended his workshop entitled “Aging as a Spiritual Practice” and found Chris’ perceptions and his take on how our ways of thinking can age us faster than the clock. Chris points out that our spirits are the true essence of who we are, not our bodies. Spirit is ageless, timeless and deathless. Yet we continually remind ourselves and others that we are becoming more limited physically and/or mentally as time goes on. How many times have you said, as I have, “Oh, I forgot that because I’m having a senior moment,” or “I used to be able to do that longer…or faster…or better….”? How often do we buy into a youthful society’s message that says if you’re over 30 you’re not worth very much? We’re the first people to limit ourselves by believing and integrating these attitudes as we get older.

          Yes, our bodies are flesh that does deteriorate over time, but there’s nothing more limiting than

Turning 65

           It seems fortuitous that I chose Tuesdays as the day of the week I would publish new posts here at Antonia’s Senior Moments. Both Christmas and New Years fell on Tuesdays and today, a couple of weeks into the New Year, I’m writing my Tuesday post on my 65^th birthday.

          I share my birthday with a wonderful and truly inspirational man, Martin Luther King. He would have been 84 today. I feel honored to share this day with King, who opened the door and brought the fresh air of “all people created equal” into our current society. Sure, the ideology hasn’t stuck for everyone, but some people don’t have the education to be that open and accepting, let alone the experience to know what it feels like to be discriminated against. So, here’s to a noble countryman who gave of his ideology and his life so the lives of black people everywhere could be better. In my opinion, us white folks are better for it too!

          So, its official: I’m a legitimate, card-carrying Medicare recipient and I’m entitled to social security, which I’ve been receiving since I was 62 (a story for another day). When I turned 55, many establishments (movie theaters, some restaurants and retail stores), would give me a senior discount. I had to chuckle though at those places where the 20-year-old clerks were required to ask if I wanted the senior rate or not. At first I felt super old. They must be asking because I looked old. That wasn’t the case, however, when I pressed the issue. It was similar to being carded; if you even remotely looked like you could be 55, the clerks were required to ask. They always asked with down-cast eyes.

          I’m thrilled to be 65; no, seriously I am.