Balance Your Relationships – Guest Blog by Rev. Chris Michaels

          As peculiar as this might sound, I was recently inspired by the selection of lettuce at the supermarket: Boston lettuce, red-leaf, green-leaf, romaine, butter, field greens, and the plain, but ever-popular, iceberg. And it made me think of the variety of people in my life: white accountants, black doctors, gay therapists, male actors, female lawyers, young people, old people, rich ones and poor ones.

          We've been told that the key to a healthy diet is to include a variety of food groups. Perhaps the key to a healthy and balanced life comes from including that same dose of variety in our relationships. If this is true, then one would seek to have friends from a variety of different cultural and ethnic groups, as well as religious and political affiliations. For balance, we would seek out relationships with people of varying age groups, race, sexual orientation and social status.

           It's clear that Spirit had an assortment in mind when it made the human race. No single person can satisfy all of our relationship needs. That's why we have so many choices. And yet, the one thing we all share in common – and perhaps the only thing – is that we're all individual expressions of the same Spirit. Each one of us has been uniquely designed to share a special gift with the world. No one can be duplicated or replaced. Every person offers something unrepeated in nature.

           Imbalance occurs when we don't have enough diversity in our lives. We were not designed to live "by bread alone." That's why relationships with our biological family should hold equal value with our chosen, spiritual family if the two aren't the same. Friendships are just as important to our psychological well-being as our families. Relationships with our pets also bring something unique to our lives that humans cannot. Variety is the key in creating a whole-life experience.

           When you rely on one person or one relationship to fulfill all of your needs, you apply undo pressure on that person and create a scenario that will ultimately lead to failure. To make one person your advisor, confidant, best friend, spiritual guru and lover is not healthy. Spread yourself around. Seek out new relationships regularly. Don't depend on the same people for the same benefits.

           People are fascinating creatures and each one has something new to offer you. Don't be afraid to extend yourself to them. After all, you have one very important thing in common with them – you come from the same life!



Rev. Chris Michaels is Senior Minister of the Center for Spiritual Living, Kansas City. He
is an outstanding speaker, counselor, teacher, author and friend. For more information
on Chris Michaels, check out his website: http://chrismichaels.net/






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Must We Always Act Our Age?

          I look to the future because that's where I'm going to spend the rest of my life. George Burns
         


          Age is a state of mind. If that is true, must we always act our age? I don't think so!

          “What? Didn’t she just go over this age thing a couple of weeks ago?”

          Yes, I was thrilled to celebrate my 65^th birthday earlier this month. I spoke of sharing the birth date with Martin Luther King and shifting my ‘Use by…’ date to 81 years old. But I didn’t talk about how our attitudes about getting older age us. I didn’t talk about those little habits of things we say and do that scoot us into walkers much faster than necessary.

          The Handbook of Religion and Health by Koenig, et al, indicates that people who have a regular religious attendance or practice live, on average, 7 years longer than those who don’t. There are things we can do to make the best use of those extra years.

          I was pleased last fall to attend a workshop at the Center for Spiritual Living . The speaker was Rev. Chris Michaels from the Kansas City Center for Spiritual Living.  Our two Centers are closely aligned and  Rev. Chris visits us often. He sometimes travels with us to foreign countries when our Center organizes spiritual excursions to places like Bali. I have spent some time with him on one of these trips and he is a cool guy. He tells it like he sees it and people listen because he’s right on. He is not even close to being a senior citizen but he isn’t a young pup either.

          A friend and I attended his workshop entitled “Aging as a Spiritual Practice” and found Chris’ perceptions and his take on how our ways of thinking can age us faster than the clock. Chris points out that our spirits are the true essence of who we are, not our bodies. Spirit is ageless, timeless and deathless. Yet we continually remind ourselves and others that we are becoming more limited physically and/or mentally as time goes on. How many times have you said, as I have, “Oh, I forgot that because I’m having a senior moment,” or “I used to be able to do that longer…or faster…or better….”? How often do we buy into a youthful society’s message that says if you’re over 30 you’re not worth very much? We’re the first people to limit ourselves by believing and integrating these attitudes as we get older.

          Yes, our bodies are flesh that does deteriorate over time, but there’s nothing more limiting than